Grief changes everything.
I can see so clearly now. I notice the color of the birds that nest in our trees, I really look at them. I see how green the grass is, how tall the trees, how cute the babies are.
What I cannot see is someone else's eyes, yeah, that's new-it's so hard to look people in the eyes maybe I fear they'll see through me to the deep pain. It feels too vulerable. They might reject me.
Food no longer tastes as sweet or salty or savory. Taste is overrated. I eat because I must for nothing more than fuel to keep life in me.
I hear sorrow in others' stories, I hear it now with more compassion, with understanding. I hear babies cry in many public places and I hear it with appreciation no longer irritation.
I smell everything. Really smell everything.
I can't truly touch anything, it's as if I've lost my grip my sense of touch is no longer amazed or wowed.
Friday, June 11, 2010
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So true about the things you notice and see. It really makes you look at things so differently. XO
ReplyDeleteI understand this so well. As if my world had opened up a new door and my senses no longer merely did their job, but acutely made me aware of things. Some days are more vivid than others and those days that are a blur feel as if a film covers them that I cannot lift.
ReplyDeleteWow what you have written is so true for me too. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteI NEVER liked flowers and after Alyssa i have grown to Love seeing them....I NEVER cared so much about just staring in the sky, watching the birds, looking at a tree...now all of this life around me stands out so much more
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