Monday, November 22, 2010

A tiny house guest

I signed up for a visit from Patches the bear, a cute tiny little bear who has traveled to many baby loss families...we had the pleasure of being one of them last week. Here are some pictures and highlights of his time spent here.

Patches with Audrey's hospital blanket and bracelet along with the rose that hung on our door.

This puppy is the one gift we were given by a dear friend when we lost our first baby to early miscarriage.

Audrey's hand and foot print

This lovely garden ornament was a gift from our funeral home and made by a local artist.

Patches hanging on the wall with Audrey's pictures

 Watching me work from my makeup case (messy case at that).

And lastly....there is a rainbow on the horizon......

Thanks for the visit Patches!

If you would like to sign up for a visit, go to Patches button on my sidebar and get added to the list.

Friday, November 12, 2010


Today my grief feels so raw again. It's a rainy morning, I'm gripped with longing, longing to hold Audrey. I am struck with grief over what our marriage could have been at this point had we not lost her. Today I am pissed off that I didn't get to give birth to Audrey, but that she was surgically taken from my womb. I will never be the same again. I feel so ruined.
Today I have so much to accomplish, a hard working weekend ahead of me.  I feel like I just lost her yesterday. The demands of today seem too much to handle. I haven't cried in, well I can't remember how long, but now that the flood gates have opened I can't seem to stop.

Grace, oh how I need grace.